Who Will Save the Children From Playing Dress-Up?

Well - it seems as though the very group who feels that non-Christians threaten Christmas... because if you remember the last 2,000 or so Christmases have been pretty much kept on the down-low...are now threatening to cancel Halloween - and having their threats granted.

The Underwood Elementary School in Newton, MA has cancelled their tradition of letting kids celebrate Halloween, because it’s going actually give some terribly underexposed and oversheltered children a couple hours imagination and laughter away from their fundamentalist, 700 Club-supporting parents.

According to ABC news, “In a letter to students and parents, [the principal] explained that the Halloween celebration offended religious beliefs of some students.”

Right – it’s the “children’s” beliefs and not their overbearing, bat-shit conservative parents that might get offended.

But according to the holiday spokespeople, Fox News, it’s the liberals that always want to cancel holidays? I mean, Personally I’ve always hated eating the best meals of the year with my wonderful family and having time off from work.

Well, I have to make one point crystal clear with the Season coming just around the corner.

Just in case you think for one second you can draw some kind of Bill O’Reilly inspired comparison between progressives wanting the government to honor everyone’s religious holidays and parents who are still under the grips of the Catholic School experiment of scaring you shitless into blind faith with threats of Demons and eternity in Hell, allow me to explain:

Real patriots who value disconnection between Religion and State voice their opinions each Christmas when the Government urinates on the First Amendment by erecting a manger the size of your boss’s house in the town square, complete with creamy white-skinned statuettes of Middle Eastern men and women praying that Tom Delay gets acquitted, all surrounding an even whiter baby Jesus (because God forbid conservatives in Kansas figure out they’ve been praying to colored guy this entire time).

So why do they speak out? Because being politically correct is really fun? Because they hate Christmas (most of those who do take issue with these displays cut their own Christmas trees down, you know)?

Because, my Super-Christian friends, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. If this upsets you, there are plenty of theocratic examples churning in motion today, and all you have to do is request a one-way ticket to Riyadh by clicking here, and you can see it up close and personal for yourself. Or…just hang around the States for another 3 or 4 years, when they’ll be fighting us over here so they don’t have to fight us there.

Now – getting back to the timid Hallow-phobic parents of these poor kids who just want to dress up as Strawberry goddamn Shortcake for a couple hours, their motives are completely different.

They, on the very distant other hand, are the classic example of a decent sized group of Christians who are non-spiritual, easily impressed upon religious sheep that worship out of fear and guilt, rather than true love and mysticism.

It’s true. Think of how many times you hear pseudo-Christians talk about their guilt for not going to Church last Sunday, or warning other people they don’t agree with dark, menacing pictures of a terrible after-life – as if our entire existence, and everything in the entire universe is predicated on a thumbs-up or thumbs-down, black and white ending that only the limited functioning of the human brain could conjure up.

These people aren’t protesting in the name of the Constitutionality, justice or religious freedom? They don’t want their kids to get spooked by a figment of their own fear that’s been drilled into their head since they were born.

The difference between us and them is, we outgrew it when we were seven.

This is what these people want, and spineless school administrators are letting them get their way. These same parents would rather send their kids to a book-burning bon fire than allow them to wear bed sheets with the eyes cut out so they eat ridiculous amounts of sugar.

Keep your eye on the good people of Newton. Rumor has it the next elementary school Superintendent will be chosen by throwing 14 qualified adults into the local pond, giving the job to the one who doesn't float.

Another Democrat off to War = Another Republican Mocking Him Safely From Home

Add Alex Cornell du Houx of Bowdoin College to the list of Democrats who have served their country.

Add Daniel Schuberth to the list of non-serving, pasty white Republican fat-asses who dishonor, discredit, and smear guys like Cornell du Houx on a daily basis.

For those not familiar with the near-Ivy League trifecta of Maine colleges known as Bowdoin, Colby and Bates, both Cornell du Houx and Schuberth attend Bowdoin, in my hometown of Brunswick Maine, which is known for it’s fancy book-learnin’ in Liberal Arts studies.

The Times Record of Brunswick recently published an article on Cornell du Houx who has a not so conflicting duality:

He is being deployed to Iraq for approximately 10 months as part of the Alpha 1st Company Battalion of the Marines; He is also the development director for the College Democrats of America and as co-president of the Maine College Democrats, and an outspoken opponent of the very war he’s heading off too.

The reason why this isn’t as conflicting as the corporate media would have you believe is that those on the Left have understood for decades that:

-It’s possible to love your country, and not support everything your president says and does.
-You can support your military and the troops that serve in it while not supporting the war they're fighting
-It is easy to understand that supporting the troops includes never sending kids to war unless there is an imminent threat, and keeping them there once said threat is proven to be nonexistent actually disavows them.
-It is easy to do all of the above when you are against any war in which you have friends, family, coworkers, and even yourself serving.

Daniel Schuberth does not understand any of the points listed above.

He is a college Republican, which means that he thinks talking about supporting the troops, or purchasing a yellow ribbon magnet for his car at Wal-Mart for $1.99 is in fact, support enough.

Of Cornell du Houx, Mr. Yellow Ribbon had this to say:

“I find it troubling, however, that one of the most vocal opponents of our president, our country and our mission in Iraq has chosen to fight for a cause he claims is wrong…[His] rhetoric against the war on terror places him in agreement with the most radical fringes of the Democratic Party, and I am left to question his logic and motivation."

This bothers me on so many levels, it’s taking all I can do right now to type this rather than get in my car, drive 25 miles north, and hog tie this asshole to the hot dog cart downtown so seagulls can shit on him all day while my old high school buddies see how many American flag pendants they can pin to his fat ass.

What people like Schuberth who say things like this from the comfort of their 72 degree, carpeted dorm room don’t realize is that putting a flag magnet on your car is literally the least you can do.

His words would not enrage so many people if the recurring pattern of juvenile Patriot Policing and More-America-Loving-Than-Thou finger pointing wasn’t so persistent within the Republican party, especially from the following non-serving Patriots on the Right:

Vice President Cheney - several deferments (1, 2), the last by marriage (in his own words, "had other priorities than military service")

Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott - avoided the draft, did not serve.

Tom Delay - avoided the draft, did not serve

Jeb Bush - did not serve.

Karl Rove - avoided the draft, did not serve

Paul Wolfowitz – did not serve

Former Attorney Gen. John Ashcroft - received seven deferments to teach business education

Newt Gingrich – avoided the draft, did not serve

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist - did not serve

Former Vice President Dan Quayle - avoided Vietnam service, got a slot in the journalism unit of the Indiana National Guard when the unit was at 150% capacity

Rush Limbaugh – Did not serve due to a 'pilonidal cyst'

Michael Savage (aka Michael Alan Weiner) - did not serve, too busy chasing herbs and botany degrees in Hawaii and Fiji

Bill O’Reilly – avoided the draft, despite being the perfect age and single.

Sean Hannity – did not serve

Ralph Reed -- did not serve

Charlie Daniels -- did not serve

Ted Nugent -- did not serve

And you can see the entire lists here, and again here, and don’t forget here.

More Liberal Media Hating the Troops

I really need a spokesperson from the Right – perhaps Jesus himself – to explain to me how liberals and progressives on the Left continue to get tagged with the stereotype of not supporting the troops, when we hear quotes like this from morons like Brit Hume:

“[In terms of U.S deaths in Iraq] by historic standards, these casualties are negligible."

Wow. Imagine - for one second - if Bill Maher had said something like this. You might say he'd be labeled treasonous.

While I can see his point that more soldiers have died in other U.S. wars, I would challenge anyone reading this now to click here. Find families of each of the soldiers listed on that page, contact their friends and families, and ask them how negligible they feel the solders’ death is.

Then write to Brit Hume at Fox and tell him what you found.

Add Another GOP Scumbag to the Picture Below

As if Ohio's Republican's didn't have enough recent embarrassment, Scooter Libby is not the only GOP official currently inducting himself into the Republican Criminal Hall of Fame. The entire Republican party of Ohio is trying to fulfill it’s scandalous obligations with the ‘ol rare-coin investment trick.

It all started when the Ohio State's Workers Compensation Fund had invested $50 million in rare coins, which in and of itself raised eyebrows – and then dropped jaws when 121 of those coins turned up missing. (This, however, is NOT to be confused with Halliburton “misplacing” $8.8 billion in Iraq).

Well, at the risk of adding the ever clichéd suffix to political scandals, I have to say the whole coin-gate saga raised red flags for all the right reasons.

Tom Noe, prominent a Republican donor and Family Values chief of Ohio, was charged Thursday with illegally funneling $45,400 into President Bush’s re-election campaign.

And this whole time you were trying to figure out how the most incompetent and reckless president in U.S. history set a record for campaign finance contributions.

The White House would not comment on the scandal.

No Shit. Something tells me they have their own indictments to worry about. Read more about coin-gate here.

New Rule: Anti-Choice Advocates Must Raise the Unplanned Childred of Rape Victims

My hope is that the few women advocating against contraception, emergency or otherwise, or those who paste the vomit-inducing "abortion stops a beating heart" stickers on their gas guzzling minivans on their way to child-labor supporting Wal-Mart never get raped or have a pregnancy that, if not aborted, could result in their own death.

On the other hand, I must admit I'm strongly curious to see what happens when they're put in that position.

So is a 20-year-old woman who was recently the survivor of a sexual assault, and couldn't find a morning after pill at any pharmacy surrounding Tucson.

Except one.

Whew - so she found what she needed after a long search, took the medication, and was able to avert the disaster of giving birth to a child created during a vile rape, right?

Well, not quite.

The pharmacist refused to give her the very legal, very effective morning after pill, commonly referred to as “plan B.”

From the Arizona Daily Star:

When she finally did find a pharmacy with [the pills], she said she was told the pharmacist on duty would not dispense it because of religious and moral objections.

"I was so shocked," said the 20-year-old woman, who, as a victim of sexual assault, is not being named by the Star. "I just did not understand how they could legally refuse to do this."

But many stores are. A 2004 survey of more than 900 Arizona pharmacies found less than half keep emergency contraception drugs in stock, with most saying there is too little demand, but some cite moral reasons, according to the Arizona Family
Planning Council.

Yet, family-planning agencies say they've seen a 60 percent increase in demand for the drug in recent years. The statistics are creating what advocates say is a frightening situation for some women.

Excuse me - Mr. Pretend doctor, wearing the same lab coat my little cousin wore last Halloween? That's not your uterine wall a fetus/rape byproduct might attach itself to. Oh, and I almost forgot - it's also not your fucking decision.

A while back I wrote a blog about this very phenomenon, admittedly not having cited an actual example of this happening. Well, here’s your example.

And as a fit ending, if this woman does end up getting pregnant, the pharmacist who denied her civil, human, and American right to contraception must:

1). Be raped himself
2). Have a large cantaloupe stuffed up his rectum to be held there for about 36 weeks or so, after which
3). He must pass a golf ball through the opening at the end of his penis
4). Raise, care for, and financially support for the rest of his life the sack of flower you had to carry around in health class (I don’t trust him with the actual child).

Thankfully this kid’s chances of getting pregnant from the assault are about as likely as snow in Miami (Be sure to Google Mr. Leon Holmes and his thoughts on this).

Welcome to Red State America everyone.

The Republican Echo Chamber

Lest you think there is not a Republican echo chamber in the media.
Lest you think the Republicans don't copy each other like pathetic, zombie-like sheep.
Lest you think Republicans EVER think for themselves.
Lest you think Republicans aren't connected by a web of commands, specific talking points and instructions to spew all over cable news.

I invite you to watch this video, and rethink your position. The video was shown on Maher's Friday night edition, and is a medley of conservatives uttering the same exact phrase in their sorry defense of people who out covert CIA agents.

And um, just a quick question - do "politics" include risking the life of an undercover CIA agent and those she works with over a New York Times Oped piece? How patriotic.


As always, big Rage ups to Crooks & Liars for letting me repost the video (orginally hosted by Think Progress)

Soccer Mom Clearly Overmatched by That Foreign Diplomat Thingy

Most people know by now that Bush has brilliantly decided to send – please be sure you’re sitting down – another good friend of his, with no fucking experience whatsoever…to a high profile, essential position dealing with our national security.

This time his good friend just so happens to be the walking PR bullshit factory with the best goddamn chicken pot pie this side of Fort Worth – Karen Hughes.

She’s been asked to lead an effort in the Middle East to improve the U.S. image in that region which happens to be currently buried 12 feet under the latest car bomb rubble in Falluja.

Because after all, it’s obvious that the single best person to change the hearts and minds of one of the most war-torn regions, fraught with sophisticated hostilities dating back several millennia is a soccer mom from West Texas.

Hughes’ experience as a diplomat or foreign relations specialist? Zero.

Well, she went to Cancun once in her early twenties and scored a couple free Margaritas for showing her boobs during happy hour at Senior Frogs, but that’s about it.

The Boston Sunday Globe did a piece yesterday on how well the mini-van driving, international relations expert was doing in the region, and specifically had this to say:

“Karen Hughes, President Bush's new public diplomacy czar, faced tough crowds on her first trip to the Middle East last month. While she defended US policies during stops in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Turkey, she was met with angry questions about the Iraq war.

On Friday, Hughes drew fire in Indonesia when she said that the Iraq war liberated the country from a dictator who ''gassed hundreds of thousands of his own people." She issued a correction hours later. Saddam Hussein is accused of gassing 5,000 Iraqi Kurds.

Opinion polls across the Muslim world suggest that favorability ratings of the United States have dropped into the single digits after the Iraq war, even in friendly countries like Egypt and Jordan, where the United States spends millions in aid.

The Bush administration has devoted $670 million this year and unprecedented political heft to the public relations effort by appointing Hughes, one of Bush's closest advisers, as undersecretary for public diplomacy. Dina Powell, an Egyptian-American and former White House aide, is her deputy. But the effort is tripping on some of the Bush administration's own hawkish rhetoric designed for an American audience, according to critics of the campaign.

''We're stepping on ourselves every day," said James Zogby, president of the Arab
American Institute, a Washington-base nonpartisan political research group. ''The domestic message ends up trumping the public diplomacy message every time."

Zogby went on to say that Hughes' strategy of baking "freedom gingerbread men" for the angry crows might work if she went a bit less on the butter.

Read more about the Hughes experiment here.

Put This at the Top of My Amazon Wish List

Fox News just took another giant step toward Fair and Balanced with the recent book release from John Gibson, another bat-shit, super-Christian fundamentalist and inexperienced toupee selector. Oh, I should mention to those who choose not to infect themselves with Fox "News" parasite each day, that Gibson is actually one of their anchors.

His book title?

"The War on Christmas : How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought"

Because after all, around Christmas season I can barely find any decorations, holiday sales or any talk of this dwindling, endangered species of a holiday.

A reviewer on Amazon.com shared his thoughts:

"Them evil liburuls is takin away Baby Jesus and Christmas. Why, I reckon the next thang them dadburn liburuls and ho-mo-seck-shuls will do is allow folks to name they chilluns after Jesus, like they do down thar in them foreign countries like New Mexico. "

And another (actual supporter of Gibson) ended his review with:

"GOD BLESS JOHN GIBSON and may all those who disagree get the ol' 'five in the noggin' they so rightly deserve!"

Well, there's a fine sample of your peers, Mr. Fox news watcher. Of course nothing could be more Christian than saying, "anyone who doesn't like our holiday should be punched in the head."

Read more about Gibson and his balanced fairness here.

U.S. to Iraq: Do As We Say, Not As We Do

You know your own Democracy is in trouble when officials from the Middle East cite it as being "too religious."

Tom Friedman, a man who wipes more Middle Eastern knowledge on his napkin than the entire Bush cabinet poseses collectively, wrote a very interesting column recently that I suggest you drop everything to read immediately.

In order to learn more about the Democracy we're "facilitating" over in Mess-o-potamia, a group of Iraqi members of the media and judiciary took a little field trip to our fair land, with the initial intention of learning from our own Democracy.

How did it go? They abruptly left early.

The leader of the delegation and Sunni judge Muhammad Mithaqi was shocked when he heard President Bush telling Republicans that part of why they should support Harriet Miers' nomination is because of her religion.

Mathaqi said that he also hypothetically fell out of his chair when he learned that your friend and mine, Kenneth Starr, said that Miers deserved support because she "is a very, very strong Christian, [who] should be a source of great comfort and assistance to people in the households of faith around the country."

Right. With gems like this you can see how Kenneth Star was really investigating White House blow jobs from a totally objective, legally unbiased point of view.

And what did Mr. Mathaqi think of our "Democracy?"

"Now let me get this straight. You are lecturing us about keeping religion out of politics, and then your own president and conservative legal scholars go and tell your public to endorse Miers as a Supreme Court justice because she is an evangelical Christian.

How would you feel if you picked up your newspapers next week and read that the president of Iraq justified the appointment of an Iraqi Supreme Court justice by telling Iraqis: 'Don't pay attention to his lack of legal expertise. Pay attention to the fact that he is a Muslim fundamentalist and prays at a Saudi-funded Wahhabi mosque.' Is that the Iraq you sent your sons to build and die for? I don't think so. We can't have our people exposed to such talk."

(Again, I encourage the "They hate us for our freedom" crowd to read the entire article here.)

Another delegation member Sahaf al-Sahafi said he "wanted to go home after watching a [staged] televised videoconference last Thursday between soldiers in Iraq and Bush." al-Sahafi added, "it was right from the Saddam playbook."

He was also amazed "to see the US Government Accountability Office declare that a Bush administration contract that paid Armstrong Williams, a supposedly independent commentator, to promote Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' policy constituted illegal propaganda - and attempt by the government to buy good press."

Of this he said, "Saddam bought and paid journalists all over the Arab world. It makes me sick even to see a drop of that in America."

Another member, Abdul Wahab al-Unfi, a Shiite lawyer who walks with a limp as a result of torture from the old Iraqi regime, was beside himself when he heard that Bush may veto a bill the senate voted on 90-9, to ban the US torture of military prisoners.

Let's recap. A delegation from Iraq comes to the U.S. to learn about Democracy. They find:

• The Bush administration encouraging support of a secular Judge because of her fundamentalism Christian beliefs
• The Bush Administration considering the veto of an anti-torture bill and continuing to duck responsibility for Abu Garib, of which more pictures are on their way
• The Bush administration getting scolded for propaganda, such paid journalists and fake news stories
  

So in order to halt further contamination found within our Democracy lesson, the delegation packed up and left.

Yay America.. I'm so proud.

As Promised: The Delay Mug Shot

It was only a matter of time before TheSmokingGun.com had this posted. Well done, fellas.
As my friend Steve said, "Hey, you might as well smile when you're getting your mug shot taken."

Guess Tom Delay's Prison Bitch Name

There is a warrant out for Tom Delay's arrest. As soon as thesmokinggun.com obtains the mugshot, I will be sure to post it here.

In the meantime, I'll paypal $1 to the first person who posts Tom Delay's prison bitch name in the comment field below (hint: Google 'prison bitch name' first).

****************update********************

I just went over to Americablog's web site...the Delay warrant can be seen in all it's beauty by visiting that site, or by clicking here:

Well At Least They're Being Honest

I'm actually starting to hear some honestly on the AM radio dial - host to the 147 Conservative Talk Shows that comprise the Liberal Media.

Yesterday on Franken's show, he played a clip of rare honesty and upfrontedness (yes I know that's not a word) from a Republican. Listen to the audio here (that's Franken laughing in the background). Here's the transcript (and keep in mind while reading/listening that it is THEY who call liberals elitist).

"Now, the Daily News in New York has a headline: "Rich got terror tip." Rich got terror tip.

OK, let's get logical about this, folks. Let's play logic with this. This is as it should be. OK? If we are faced with disaster in this country -- let me ask you this, OK? You just be logical. Get all of the emotion out of this. Get all of the emotion out of this. But if we are faced with a disaster in this country, which group do we want to save? The
rich or the poor? (Franken: that's easy!)

Now, if you have time, save as many people as you can. But if you have to set some priorities, where do you go? The rich or the poor?

OK? Who is a drag on society? The rich or the poor? Who provide the jobs out there? The rich or the poor? Who fuels -- you know, which group fuels our economy? Drives industry? The rich or the poor?

I don't see what the big problem is. I just don't. I mean, if you -- who do I want to save first? The rich. Save the poor first. Then, when everything's over, where are you gonna go for a job? OK, hey, if I get a tin cup, can I sit next to you and sell pencils too?

See the full transcript here.

Political Terror Alerts

I'll be the first to admit - the government is in a tough position. If and when the next attack comes and the government didn't warn people, they'd be scolded for neglect (although that happened on one September 11th date a few years back, and Bush turned out to be a hero for fucking up so badly).

Of course on the other hand, if they raise the alert level and nothing happens, then they start to cry wolf, people get desensitized, and well that's just not any fun now is it.

As you read this, however - ask yourself one question: How many terror alerts do you remember prior to the 2004 election? Dozens.

Now ask yourself how many we've had in the last 10 months. About 2.

Coincidence? Keith Olbermann thinks not.

Olbermann has compiled a list of 13 terror events - raising the level, issuing warnings, scaring us all - with 13 Bush administration embarrassments.

Anyone who watched 5 minutes of the Republican National Convention, with it's date pushed closer to Sept 11th, knows how this administration will not hesitate to take advantage of that event, our fear, and those who lost their lives for political gain. Here is just a partial list:


Coincidence #1

May 18th, 2002
The first details of the Presidential Daily Briefing issued to Bush on August 6th, 2001 are revealed. Another memo, revealing the FBI knew of Al Qaeda members training at an Arizona Flight School hits the news.

May 20th, 2002
Two days later, FBI Director Mueller declares another terrorist attack “inevitable.” The next day, the Department of Homeland Security issues warnings of attacks against railroads nationwide, and against New York City landmarks like the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty.

Coincidence #2

June 6th, 2002
Colleen Rowley, the FBI agent who tried to alert her superiors to the specialized flight training taken by Zacarias Moussaoui, whose information suggests the government missed a chance to break up the 9/11 plot, testifies before Congress. Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Graham says Rowley’s testimony has inspired similar pre-9/11 whistle-blowers.

June 10th, 2002
Four days later, speaking from Russia, Attorney General John Ashcroft reveals that an American named Jose Padilla is under arrest, accused of plotting a radiation bomb attack in this country. Padilla had, by this time, already been detained for more than a month.

Coincidence #3

February 5th, 2003
Secretary of State Powell tells the United Nations Security Council of Iraq’s concealment of weapons, including 18 mobile biological weapons laboratories, justifying a U.N. or U.S. first strike. Many in the UN are doubtful. Months later, much of the information proves untrue.

February 7th, 2003
Two days later, as anti-war demonstrations continue to take place around the globe, Homeland Security Secretary Ridge cites “credible threats” by Al Qaeda, and raises the terror alert level to orange. Three days after that, Fire Administrator David Paulison - who would become the acting head of FEMA after the Hurricane Katrina disaster - advises Americans to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape to protect themselves against radiological or biological attack.

Coincidence #4

July 23rd, 2003
The White House admits the CIA -- months before the President's State of the Union Address -- expressed "strong doubts" about the claim that Iraq had attempted to buy uranium from Niger. On the 24th, the Congressional report on the 9/11 attacks is issued; it criticizes government at all levels; it reveals an FBI informant had been living with two of the future hijackers; and it concludes that Iraq had no link to Al-Qaeda. 28 pages of the report are redacted. On the 26th, American troops are accused of beating Iraqi prisoners.

July 29th, 2003
Three days later, amid all of those negative headlines, Homeland Security issues warnings of further terrorist attempts to use airplanes for suicide attacks.

Coincidence #5

December 17th, 2003
9/11 Commission Co-Chair Thomas Kean says the attacks were preventable. The next day, a Federal Appeals Court says the government cannot detain suspected radiation-bomber Jose Padilla indefinitely without charges, and the chief U.S. Weapons inspector in Iraq, Dr. David Kay, who has previously announced he has found no Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, announces he will resign his post.

December 21st, 2003
Three days later, just before Christmas, Homeland Security again raises the threat level to Orange, claiming “credible intelligence” of further plots to crash airliners into U.S. cities. Subsequently, six international flights into this country are cancelled after some passenger names purportedly produce matches on government no-fly lists. The French later identify those matched names: one belongs to an insurance salesman from Wales, another to an elderly Chinese woman, a third to a five-year old boy.

Coincidence #6

March 30th, 2004
The new chief weapons inspector in Iraq, Charles Duelfer tells Congress we have still not found any WMD there. And, after weeks of refusing to appear before the 9/11 Commission, Condoleezza Rice finally relents and agrees to testify. On the 31st: Four Blackwater-USA contractors working in Iraq are murdered, their mutilated bodies dragged through the streets and left on public display in Fallujah. The role of civilian contractors in Iraq is widely questioned.

April 2nd, 2004
Homeland Security issues a bulletin warning that terrorists may try to blow up buses and trains, using fertilizer and fuel bombs - like the one detonated in Oklahoma City - stuffed into satchels or duffel bags.

Coincidence #7

May 16th, 2004
Secretary of State Powell appears on “Meet The Press.” Moderator Tim Russert closes by asking him about the “enormous personal credibility” Powell had placed before the U.N. in laying out a case against Saddam Hussein. An aide to Powell interrupts the question, saying the interview is over. Powell finishes his answer, admitting that much of the information he had been given about Weapons of Mass Destruction was “inaccurate and wrong, and, in some cases, deliberately misleading.”

May 21st, 2004
New photos showing mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib Prison are released. On the 24th - Associated Press video from Iraq confirms U.S. forces mistakenly bombed a wedding party - killing more than 40.

May 26th, 2004
Two days later, Attorney General Ashcroft and FBI Director Mueller warn that intelligence from multiple sources, in Ashcroft’s words, “indicates Al-Qaeda’s specific intention to hit the United States hard,” and that “90 percent of the arrangements for an attack on the United States were complete.” The color-coded warning system is not raised, and Homeland Security Secretary Ridge does not attend the announcement.

Coincidence #8

July 6th, 2004
Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry selects Senator John Edwards as his vice presidential running mate, producing a small bump in the election opinion polls, and a huge swing in media attention towards the Democratic campaign.

July 8th, 2004
Two days later, Homeland Secretary Ridge warns of information about Al-Qaeda attacks during the summer or autumn. Four days after that, the head of the U.S. Election Assistance Commission, DeForest B. Soaries, Junior, confirms he has written to Ridge about the prospect of postponing the upcoming Presidential election in the event it is interrupted by terrorist acts.

Coincidence #9

July 29th, 2004
At their party convention in Boston, the Democrats formally nominate John Kerry as their candidate for President. As in the wake of any convention, the Democrats dominate the media attention over the ensuing weekend.

Monday, August 1st, 2004
The Department of Homeland Security raises the alert status for financial centers in New York, New Jersey, and Washington to orange. The evidence supporting the warning - reconnaissance data, left in a home in Iraq - later proves to be roughly four years old and largely out-of-date.

Coincidence #10

October 22nd, 2004
After weeks of Administration insistence that there are terrorist plans to disrupt the elections, FBI, Law Enforcement, and other U.S. Intelligence agencies report they have found no direct evidence of any plot. More over, they say, a key CIA source who had claimed knowledge of the plot, has been discredited.

October 29, 2004
Seven days later - four days before the Presidential election - the first supposedly new, datable tape of Osama Bin Laden since December 2001 is aired on the Al-Jazeera Network. A Bush-Cheney campaign official anonymously tells the New York Daily News that from his campaign’s point of view, the tape is quote “a little gift.”

Coincidence #11

May 5th, 2005
88 members of the United States House of Representatives send a letter to President Bush demanding an investigation of the so-called “Downing Street Memo” - a British document which describes purported American desire dating to 2002 to "fix" the evidence to fit the charges against Iraq. In Iraq over the following weekend, car bombings escalate. On the 11th, more than 75 Iraqis are killed in one.

May 11th, 2005
Later that day, an instructor and student pilot violate restricted airspace in Washington D.C. It is an event that happens hundreds of times a year, but this time the plane gets to within three miles of the White House. The Capitol is evacuated; Vice President Cheney, the First Lady, and Nancy Reagan are all rushed to secure locations. The President, biking through woods, is not immediately notified.

Coincidence #12

June 26th, 2005
A Gallup poll suggests that 61 percent of the American public believes the President does not have a plan in Iraq. On the 28th, Mr. Bush speaks to the nation from Fort Bragg: "We fight today because terrorists want to attack our country and kill our citizens, and Iraq is where they are making their stand. So we'll fight them there, we'll fight them across the world, and we will stay in the fight until the fight is won."

June 29th 2005
The next day, another private pilot veers into restricted airspace, the Capitol is again evacuated, and this time, so is the President.

Coincidence #13

October 6th, 2005
At 10 AM Eastern Time, the President addresses the National Endowment for Democracy, once again emphasizing the importance of the war on terror and insisting his government has broken up at least 10 terrorist plots since 9/11.

At 3 PM Eastern Time, five hours after the President’s speech has begun, the Associated Press reports that Karl Rove will testify again to the CIA Leak Grand Jury, and that Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald has told Rove he cannot guarantee that he will not be indicted.

At 5:17 PM Eastern Time, seven hours after the President’s speech has begun, New York officials disclose a bomb threat to the city’s subway system - based on information supplied by the Federal Government. A Homeland Security spokesman says the intelligence upon which the disclosure is based is “of doubtful credibility.” And it later proves that New York City had known of the threat for at least three days, and had increased police presence in the subways long before making the announcement at that particular time. Local New York television station, WNBC, reports it had the story of the threat days in advance, but was asked by "high ranking federal officials" in New York and Washington to hold off its story.

Oh, and for those keeping score at home...

Total Number of Terrorist Threats/Warnings LEADING UP to the Election (not including
stray aircraft): 10

Total Number of Terrorist Threats/Warnings in the year AFTER the Election (not including stray aircraft): 1

More About the Post Below...

NBC Nightly News - did their own piece on the subject I blogged about below; one of the only major news organizations to do so.

Typically you have to get this kind of information from the Daily Show, or Real Time with Bill Maher. In other words, comedy shows on cable tv.

This is incredibly important. This is an amazing glimpse into what the non-corporate media have been screaming about for years. No one listened to their complaints. No one felt this was important. They didn't feel it was news. Your Bush-supporting friends said it wasn't even true.

Watch the video below. Send this link to anyone you know who actually denies this is still going on. Simply click the small envelope icon below this post.

We will NEVER have our voices heard about this until people are educated, made aware, and start calling these people on their bullshit.

From the White House: MORE Fake News

Apparently the White House still hasn't learned it's lesson.

When you have an administration this corrupt, this prone to failure, this increasing unappealing in polls of the American public, you've got to spin the living SHIT out of everything.

Fake journalists. Fake news. Fake members of the White House press corps. Fake town hall meetings. Don't forget fake turkeys. And now - more fake, rehearsed, bullshit media opportunities using the troops as your props.

On Friday, the Bushies put together a little satellite interview with some troops over in Iraq.

White House aid Allison Barber as well as Scott Mclellan insisted that the conference wasn’t rehearsed. It turns out they lied their asses off.

Here’s Barber’s stance on whether or not the public teleconference was rehearsed:

Pentagon communications aide Allison Barber “insisted the questions were not rehearsed. The military had been told ahead of time only about topics the president might want to talk about, not specific questions. ‘We just knew broad themes,’ Barber said.”

In addition, when Scott McClellan was asked later that day, “How were [the troops] selected, and are their comments to the president pre-screened, any questions or anything…” McClellan responds, “No.”

Here’s what actually happened during the teleconference:

Allison Barber, deputy assistant to the Secretary of Defense for internal communication, could be heard asking one soldier before the start of the event, “Who are we going to give that [question] to?”

WH aide: “Capt. Kennedy are you ready?”

Kennedy: “I am ready, ma’am.”

WH aide: “Okay this is for the money. We are going to time this and remember that if the president cuts it short, if he asks more questions, if you have the microphone and he follows up with a question to you, no matter who has it, Captain Pratt if you have the microphone and the president hears something and he wants more information, you just keep that microphone and talk to the president.”

Kennedy: “Okay.”

WH aide: “But if he gives us a question that is not something that we have scripted Captain Kennedy you are going to have the mic and that’s your chance to impress us all.”

Kennedy: “Okay.”

Don’t just take my word for it. Watch the video yourself.

Discouraged? Become Republican.

Over at MoxieGrrrl.com, a solution is offered for any discouraged Democrat - simply join the Republican party (courtesy of thefrown.com).

Click on the image below for the very well done flash animation - no audio is needed.

More on Pat Tillman from the Nation Magazine

A while back I wrote a post about both Pat Tillman and Jessica Lynch, and the sad use of their persona as poster boy and poster girl by the Pentagon to market the wars in the Middle East.

As you’ll recall, Lynch was fairy-tale rescued female solider, and Tillman was the beefy, handsome, real life G.I. Joe who Ann Coulter described as “an American original – virtuous, pure, and masculine like only American males can be.”

The only problem was neither story associated with either of these walking billboards for the government were true – in fact, quite the opposite.

To this day, I have seen almost no coverage in the corporate media regarding the lies surrounding either solider, the incredible anger, frustration and humiliation felt by their familes and friends, or any apologies from either the Bush administration or the Pentagon.

Dave Zirin at The Nation Magazine has recently written a bit more about Tillman in particular – who was quoted referring “fucking illegal” Iraq war by his close friend in the Army – and how completely opposite he was in actuality from the way you’ve seen him depicted by the Pentagon, and the “liberal media.”

As the (San Francisco) Chronicle put it, family and friends are now unveiling, “a side of Pat Tillman not widely known – a fiercely independent thinker who enlisted and fought and died in service to his country, yet was critical of President Bush and opposed the war in Iraq, where he served a tour of duty. He was an avid reader whose interests ranged from history books…to works of leftist Noam Chomsky, a favorite author.”

Tillman had very unembedded feelings about the Iraq war. His close friend Army Spec. Russell Baer remembered, “I can see it like a movie screen. We were outside of [an Iraqi city] watching as bombs were dropping on the town…We were talking. And Pat said, ‘you know, this war is so fucking illegal.’ And we were like, ‘Yeah.’ That’swho he was. He totally was against Bush.”

With these revelations, Pat Tillman the PR icon joins WMD and Al Qaeda connections on the heap of lies used to sell the Iraq war.

Read the rest here.

O'Reilly Sex Cruise Cancelled

I was just reminded recently of a post I’ve been meaning to create for quite some time.

During this past summer, a fundraiser/cruise entitled “Battle For American Values” was set to sail, full of living, breathing, Right Wing cargo sipping Manhattans, puffing stogies, and swapping fag jokes for stock market tips.

The special guest speaker? Your friend and mine, Bill O’Reilly.

Amusingly the cruise was cancelled due to lack of interest. As SweetJesusIHateBillOreilly.com notes:

Even though the cruise was promoted heavily on The O'Reilly Factor television program, the Radio Factor, and O'Reilly's web site, they sold only a fraction of the tickets available. According to the Thomas More Law Center, the response was surprisingly poor. The organization ultimately renegotiated with Holland America Cruise Line in an attempt to pare down the expected guest list but maintain the event as scheduled. Sales continued to trickle in and finally, after two more negotiations with Holland America to reduce the group size, the event was finally scrapped.

As Al Franken has pointed out on a number of occasions, Bill O’Reilly was surely prepared to read to the guests from his own novel, Those Who Trespass (Biblical sounding name coincidental? I think not).

Due to overwhelming request from the fans of this site – ok, my buddy Jon – below I’ve posted both the famous transcript from this book, as well as the audio of Bill himself actually reading directly from page 308 for his award winning book-on-film series. Keep in mind, the mission statement from the group who put on the cruise who invited Bill is as follows: "(We) seek to meet the highest moral and ethical standards of our Christian faith and our legal profession.” What say you, Mr. O’Reilly?

"Stripping off her bathing suit, she walked into the huge shower. She pulled the lime green curtain across the entrance and then set the water for a tepid 75-degrees. The spray felt great against her skin as she ducked her head underneath the nozzle. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the tingling sensation of water flowing against her body. Suddenly another sensation entered, Ashley felt two large hands wrap themselves around her breasts and hot breathe on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes wide and giggled, 'I thought you drowned out there snorkel-man.' Tommy O'Malley was naked and at attention. 'Drowning is not an option', he said, 'unless of course you beg me to perform unnatural acts - right here in this shower.'"

Audio here.

Get Your Christianity Out of My Kid’s Science Class

…And I won’t perform science experiments during your Sunday Mass.

So say 11 families in the Dover, PA school district. Their school district has decided it would ignore that silly and unnecessary Church and State separation, as well as some of the strongest governing laws, hypotheses, and theories of science that have been accepted by the more than just the overwhelming majority of scientists around the world, in order to make our kids the laughing stock of the planet.

The school board has now required that Intelligent Design be taught in the public – read that again – public – school system.

A while back, I wrote a blog about this very issue, but in case you haven’t read it (and shame on you if you haven’t), I’ll recap:

Evolution is a powerful and completely accepted, leading scientific presumption that is contested by almost no college professor, scientist or scholar of biology. Evolution uses the science of anthropology, biology and other studies, most of which is testable, constantly evolving with new information to support how life as we know it got to where it is today, backed by over a century of research.

Creationism is a group of religious fables consisting of imaginatively written literature, penned 2000 years ago by theocrats with the purpose of convincing everyone to subscribe to their religion.

Intelligent Design is the new Creationism. It intentionally and cleverly doesn’t mention God by name, but denotes that some being – some entity with “intelligence” and purpose allowed the development of life to take place. Now, take a wild guess as to which groups are pushing this theory, and you’ll be able to figure out which being they might be referring to. It doesn’t have any scientific validity, research, or support.

Yesterday Jerry Springer, who has a surprisingly entertaining yet adult-level-of-thinking talk show on Air America, had Doctor Andrew Petto from the National Center for Science Education, who also teaches biology at the University of Wisconsin on his show to comment on the debate that shouldn’t even be wasting our time.

The entire interview was both interesting and fulfilling especially if you’re one of them book-learnin’ folks – except for one guy who called in about 10 minutes through the interview. Here’s the transcript (or for those of you who might believe in I.D. and don't particularly get the whole "reading" thingie, here's the audio of the trans...funny symbols below):

Caller: Yeah, thanks Jerry for taking my call.

I’d like for (the professor) to explain if it’s not a science, why so many scientists seem to be jumping on board this potential theory, of Intelligent Design, number one.

And, secondly, if evolution has been such a successful science as he just stated to the previous caller, why do they keep on changing the theory every time a fossil record or something that’s discovered goes against their theory?

Such as, if evolution happened over billions of years, why is their not one fossil ever discovered that shows the morphing of one species into another species…so they change the theory to say, “well things happen in fits and spurts because we can’t prove the original theory.”

So just changing theories because the fossil records don’t support the original theory – I don’t think is a very successful science.


The Professor: Ok we’ve got a couple of issues there.

One – many scientists, you say? The Discovery Institute (the right-wing funded group on the west coast pushing I.D.) has put a thing on its web site that says there are 400 or so scientists (that believe in I.D.).

Do you know what the denominator is – do you know how many scientists there are in the world that reject that idea? We at the National Center for Science Education have kind of a playful project called “Project Steve” and we have over 500 scientists, just named Steve, who has come out in support of Evolution.

So you’re taking about maybe 450 people who have signed (onto I.D.). And they call themselves scientists, but they are sometimes economists, sometimes philosophers of science, sometimes historians of science. It’s true they’ve studied science –but they’re not scientific researchers, so I would reject the statement that there are many scientists. There is a dwindling minority of scientists.

The second question is, are they changing theories?

No, they’re not changing the theory. They theory is that the history of life on Earth and all the variations that we see and all the patterns that we see, is due to the interaction between living things in the environment, and as they go through generations there is a lot of variation; no two are exactly alike. Some of those variations are more successful, others are not. That theory hasn’t changed, really since Charles Darwin put it together.

What has changed is our understanding of the way that it works. In fact we’ve learned about ways of producing biological change that Charles Darwin couldn’t have imagined. In fact, Darwin didn’t know anything about genetics, and yet we know how important genetics are in terms of the ways in which variation occurs and the way it gets passed down.

Finally, the idea of one species morphing into another – that is a popular but incorrect idea about the way that evolution works; that one species or one individual changes into another. There is indeed variation, there are indeed differences from one population to the next, and they will diverge from each other. They will change over time in response to what’s going on in the environment. But, it isn’t necessary to see a species changing into another, because organisms live or die; they don’t change into something else.

What evolution says is the ratio of who lives to who dies is what changes the species, not an individual becoming say, half-lizard and half-bird.

My thoughts on all of this?

I personally feel this whole debate is embarrassing, and a shameful example of how religious conservatives prioritize their political agenda over wanting to improve or even hold any value for children’s education.

For a sect of people who seem to never stop thinking about how we can help America’s youth, they sure spend a lot of time decreasing the value their experience. I believe that if the Christian folk in this country want bullshit taught in our educational institutes, thus putting the very children they claim to protect at a significant disadvantage globally, then they can saved it for their deprived, home-schooled, poorly social-skilled child who will learn about Intelligent Design right after mom gets through her abstinence lesson, somewhere between Guiding Light, and another Maury Povich fat camp episode.

And when that kid grows up, he’ll end up working for mine.

For more on this topic, I suggest reading this article.

My Latest Experiment: I Watch the Liberal Nightly News

We all keep hearing about the liberal media over and over from conservatives. “We may have Fox,” they’ll tell you, “but you’ve got everything else.” They are of course skipping over the New York Post, the Washington Times, almost the entire Prime Time Cable News lineup (including MSNBC, CNBC, etc), Discovery Military, the Wall Street Journal, one of the largest cable providers on the planet (Sinclair) 8,000 hours of AM talk radio per week, the entire realm of Country music, the 100’s of military correspondents co-hosting news shows during a time of war, animated American flag graphics taking up half the screen, and 5 major Republican donors owning 98% of everything we see, hear and read on a daily basis. An honest recollection failure on their part, I’m sure.

Anyway, with the ousting of real journalism on the networks using veteran correspondents with accomplishments a mile long in favor of incredibly beautiful models, 3-years removed from their journalism degrees reading carefully scripted teleprompters, I decided I’d take the plunge. Tonight for the first time ever, I watched the NBC Nightly News, and took notes on every single story.

The following is an account of every single news segment during the ½ hour, as well as my commentary. What I found was shocking:

Segment#1

I must admit I tuned it at 6:31pm and may have missed 1 to 1:59 of story. With that in mind, I caught the end of the lead story, which was about the Iraqi constitution. The story was about the Sunnis agreeing to a piece of the constitution in Iraq that will enable it to go forward with Sunni endorsement. With the Shiites in control since the fall of Saddam, the two Muslim sects have agreed on little, so this was certainly great news coming straight from Iraq.

What a bunch of liberal bullshit. To lead with a story of good news from Iraq is insulting, considering there was nothing about the power flickering on for an extra ten minutes today in the Southern area of Basra.


Segment#2

More on the Hurricane Katrina cleanup. Most of the story feature shots of bush with a hammering nails into homes, hugging victims, and preaching about moving past the tragedy and increasing the relief effort. The story ended with an interview with a local citizen who said of the Bush visit, “I tried not to be impressed (with the President), but I was.”

Finally, a black man complimenting the greatest of the black leaders – President Bush. I guess this part wasn’t too liberal – although they could have morphed New Orleans mayor ray Nagin’s last name into a word that sounds like “nigger,” just like Rush Limbaugh actually did in a nod to all his racist fans. (listen to the audio of that here)


Segment#3

A story about the Harriet Miers nomination. The story centered around critics of the nomination who were not Democrats – but rather from the President’s own party, which is very, very rare. Apparently conservatives are worried that since she has no judicial experience, there is no record of her coming down on gays, abortion, affirmative action, stem cell research, and other issues the Republican Party platform claims to be against.

What a liberal slant. Is Al Gore producing the Nightly News? How dare they quote Republicans dissenting from the President!


Segment#4 – NBC Nightly News In-Depth

This is the feature du jour if you will. This is a segment often used to provoke emotion. It exists to enrage the viewer, or scare the crap out of them. Today? More than 10 minutes straight on the bird flu pandemic. Interviews featured a well-spoken Health Secretary, scientists, and how widespread the disease actually is.

Communists! There was more on Vietnam and China in this story than in a John Kerry war hero tale!


Segment #5

As I watched this segment, I recognized the first shot right away – Portland Headlight, arguably the most famous headlight in the United States, situated in Cape Elizabeth Maine. This story focused on ice stranded in Maine (and the rest of the country) reserved for FEMA’s Louisiana relief, but moving nowhere. It included an interview with Susan Collins, Republican Senator from Maine, stating how she was upset that FEMA was wasting so many tax dollars keeping the ice here.

Unbelievable. Another Republican speaking out against the Federal Government. I was about ready to throw my liberal TV out the window.


Segment #6

Ending as the Nightly News typically does, with a feel good story. This story reported on the New Orleans Times Picayune, and how they’ve continued to crank
out papers despite the flooding and the odds.

Obviously this segment was meant to make Bush look bad. Not once did the story mention how were it not for him, New Orleans would have no news at all.

I will attempt to issue follow up accounts of CBS and ABC’s Nightly newscasts as well, giving you more insight into the incredibly biased, liberal media. Stay tuned.

Hardball Recaps Valerie Plame Leak

Thanks as always to the crew over at Crooks & Liars, anyone who doesn't understand how big a deal the Karl Rove/Valerie Plame scandal is, or what the timeline of events that have unfolded are can view the video below.

The timeline was aired recently on MSNBC's Hardball.

Not Exactly Paintball on the Weekends

Both the National Guard and Reserves are suffering a strikingly higher share of U.S. casualties in Iraq – and are getting killed at DOUBLE the percentage they were last year.

Even though the insurgency is in it’s last throes, the AP reports:

The trend (of increasing Reserve and Guard deaths) accelerated this year. For the first nine months of 2005 reservists accounted for 36 percent of U.S. deaths, and for August and September it was 56 percent, according to Pentagon figures.

Casualties in Iraq have shifted toward citizen soldiers as their combat role has grown to historic levels. National Guard officials say their soldiers have been sent into combat in Iraq in numbers not previously seen in modern times -- far more than were sent to Vietnam, where active-duty troops did the vast majority of the fighting.

The mounting casualties among reservists in Iraq has been overshadowed by the attention focused on a rising overall U.S. death toll, now approaching 2,000. It complicates recruiting for the National Guard and Reserve, which often attract people who think of the military reservists' role as something other than front-line combat.

(Read the entire story here)

NOTE TO THE REBPUBLICANS READING THIS:

-Poor recruitment, not intelligent debate and free speech pertaining to war hurts our military.
-It hurts just as much as lack of armor, bullets and other gear for our soldiers.
-It hurts just as much as lack of war planning or exit strategies for our troops.
-It hurts just as much as the back-door draft.
-It hurts just as much as shutting down VA hospitals all over the country.
-It hurts just as much as your President never attending a single soldier's burial.

All of this despite Republicans loving the military, and Bush being a great war leader. I guess both those theories are as made up as evolution.

Well Now This Explains Everything

There are many people who look around and realize that they, their neighbors and the rest of this country (except the very wealthy) are noticeably much worse off then 5 or 10 years ago. Unemployment, poverty, and every other economic factor is looking more dim, and we're another unwinnable war in Asia, for which the reasons continue to change, while we're rapidly approaching 2,000 dead for reasons we can't explain.

Who then can you turn your anger, your outrage, your bitterness toward?

God.

The BBC is reporting (and other news outlets have picked up on it) that our President, according to Palestinian official named Nabil Shaath, told him and others that God told him to invade Iraq and Afghanistan. Here is what Shaath and others present said the words were from Bush:

"God would tell me, ‘George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan,’ And I did, and then God would tell me, ‘George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq, And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East.' And by God I'm gonna do it."

Well now we know what he means by “mandate.”

The war in Iraq at the very least has turned out to be a huge mistake, one that has cost not just lives and hundreds of billions of dollars, but perhaps any shred of Republican integrity that was left after being sopped up like gravy into dinner rolls baked by lies Tom Delay, Karl Rove, and Dick Cheney.

Of course, you might think only a God that hates America could tell Bush to do such horrible things to hurt our soldiers and our country, and needs to slap a yellow “support our troops” magnet on the back of his Holy Hummer.

Not so fast. There is also the theory that Bush wasn’t actually speaking to a being referred to as God, but rather a guy by the name of Claude, a simple resident of Heaven who was from Las Cruses, NM, who was a bit of war hawk in life, and the whole Iraq war was just a mix-up.

After all, the late Pope John Paul II and Bush seem to have very conflicting message from above on Iraq, when you read what the Pope had to say: "A war (with Iraq) would be a defeat for humanity and would be neither morally nor legally justified... It is an unjust war.”

Shaath has gone on to say that the story itself was blown out of proportion because he didn’t think Bush actually had conversations with God – and that he may have used the word figuratively.

I’m sorry. Could someone please tell me 1).how one could be misinterpreted by stringing together several sentences referencing God and homework assignments He has given and 2).how using God either literally or figuratively as inspiration to start any war in any country is any different from Muslim or Christian terrorists who are motivated by God to kill innocent people as well?

Either way, here are your choices.

Bush literally spoke to God and is therefore an undiagnosed schizophrenic
Bush was figuratively referring to God as inspiring and evoking images in his own mind to invade Iraq and Afghanistan.

Now look up the definition of theocracy, and tell me why you can’t understand people being concerned about this.

Meet the Fuckers

I have a crazy idea.

If we’re going to go around the world, invade other nations, overthrow their governments (even democratically elected ones), spread democracy like a fertile seed, and shove the 11 inch cock of constitutional freedom down the throat of a porn star named Iraq, we should maybe – just MAYBE – practice the same model of Democracy and freedom here.

Yesterday a private citizen named Lorrie Heasley committed the ultimate crime one can commit in this country today – they DARED to insult King George.

Heasley, of Woodland, Washington, was kicked off her flight from LAX to Portland, Oregon yesterday for wearing a T-shirt with pictures of Bush, Cheney and Rice, with the phrase "Meet the Fuckers,” (a take on the incredibly unfunny film, Meet the Fockers).

It would be understandable that we need to save the children by shielding their eyes from strategically placed consonants and vowels that create words our culture has decided are obscene. After all, 100,000 Iraqi citizens having their brains splattered by smart bombs won’t tarnish children’s perception of the world – but a seven-letter expression accurately describing the assholes that commanded it to happen will.

However – I genuinely question whether or not someone with an obscenity on their shirt that wasn’t directed toward the murderers in the Administration would have been asked to leave a flight because of it.

Further supporting my suspicion is some excellent detective work over at Yellow Dog Blog, who noted the following:

"Courtesy of OpenSecrets.org, we find that Southwest's main political action committee, the Freedom Fund, has given $5,000 to George W. Bush in the last two presidential elections, while giving nothing to Al Gore or John Kerry. Their favorite guy to buy in Congress? None other than Mr. Tom DeLay, to whom the corporate group has given a total of $9,000 in the last five years. They even kicked in a grand for Rick Santorum."

The other problem I have with the incident, is that she boarded the plane with the shirt in full view, and made a huge stink about it ONCE THE PLANE WAS IN THE AIR!

At any rate, this would be a perfect time to introduce the video serving as the source of the T-shirt slogan (or did the T-shirt spawn the video title?).
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Fuckers.

Bush Ratings Sink Like the Red Sox World Series Hopes

From CBS News:

"This CBS News Poll finds an American public increasingly pessimistic about the economy, the war in Iraq, the overall direction of the country, and the President. Americans' outlook for the economy is the worst it has been in four years.

A growing number of Americans want U.S. troops to leave Iraq as soon as possible, rather than stay the course, and the highest percentage ever thinks the U.S. should have stayed out of Iraq.

President George W. Bush's overall job approval rating has reached the lowest ever measured in this poll, and evaluations of his handling of Iraq, the economy and even his signature issue, terrorism, are also at all-time lows. More Americans than at any time since he took office think he does not share their priorities. "

Here are some numbers:

Just What We Need: More Bat-Shit Christian Righties on the Bench

Well it only took about 24 hours, but the underlying reasons - the scheme if you will - for Bush's nomination to the most important Court of law in the nation has now been uncovered.

Just like your annoying sister in law who refused to go to your gay uncle's Christmas party because "Ron" would be there, and just like your unemployed housewife neighbor who bakes the best damn Rice Kris pie squares for PTA meetings to try to get your local school to stop teaching evolution and other heathen sciences - and oh yes, just like our recovering alcoholic president - Harriet Miers is a born again Christian.

Did you REALLY expect any other qualifier for this nomination?

No one has any clue about her judicial record because, well, she's never really done the whole judge thing before.

But she is a friend of the president – in fact, she’s his lawyer, which is sort of like nominating your dentist for a Nobel Prize in medicine. She has been Bush’s general counsel to both his gubernatorial campaigns and his pick to lead the Texas Lottery Commission, and remember, in this White House loyalty counts, and performance absolutely does not.

In fact, the poorer the performance, the higher the reward.

Just ask Condi.
Just ask George Tenent.
Just ask Wolfowitz.
Just ask John Bolton.
Just ask Brownie.

At first I thought many Republicans would actually be outraged at the fact that some Democrats might want to participate in scrutinizing the most important appointments a President can make – but it’s the Republicans, NOT the Democrats who have been making headlines in their apprehension, if not outright concern about placing this woman on the bench.

"There are a lot more people -- men, women and minorities -- that are more qualified in my opinion by their experience than she is," says Trent Lott.

"There's precious little to go on and a deep concern that this would be a Souter-type candidate," said Republican Senator Sam Brownback, (R-KS) from the capitol of the flyover states, perhaps indicating his fear that Miers will turn out to be a black, lesbian, flag-burning Jew.

Even the suspiciously gay-looking head of the Rapture-Right, James Dobson is looking for God to speak to him, among other schizophrenic symptoms, about the political appointment…because everyone knows, God is a HUGE political junkie and really has nothing better to do (well other than to guide field goal attempts from college football kickers’ feet through uprights each Saturday afternoon).

However, Republicans are truly split on the issue, which in and of itself has made headline since they tend to collaborate on everything (all except for the red-headed step children in Maine, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe), all the time without exception because they’re like sheep on Special K following the sheepdog back into the barn.

All I can say is this. Get your coat hangers ready and the food stamps on standby ladies, because Planned Parenthood’s days of allowing you reproductive sovereignty –at least as it is protected by federal law – are numbered.

Not Exactly the CBS Mail Bag

Al Franken, much like David Letterman, loves to read fan mail. The only difference is Letterman’s fan mail doesn’t come from the Christian Army who for some reason, feel the need to tune into Al’s show, from somewhere in the middle of Kansas.

No one can sum up the value of these people to American society better than the letter writers themselves, in their own words. These letters are for everyone to enjoy, but especially those who hate Al Franken, as I wanted to show you who was on your side, and who you share common bond with.

I’ve tried to transcribe them as accurately as I can, keeping the authentic spelling and grammar used by the writer.

Bear in mind, reading the transcripts below isn’t nearly as rewarding as listening to the audio clips of Al reading them live, over the air. Fire up your favorite MP3 player and enjoy:

Letter #1

Dear Al,

What’s with you, four-eyes? Why do you suck so much? You have to be the worst radio (sic) ever. You’re always interrupting your guests to tell your stupid jokes, but you’re not even funny, so what’s the point, and don’t you know you’re not supposed to fart on the air? Oh wait, that’s you talking. Your co-host must hate your guts, I’m surprised she hasn’t been chased out of the studio by your stupidity or your anal fumes.

Anyway Al, go f#ck yourself. Better yet I hope Bill O’Reilly sees you on the street, and sticks a dildo up your...
(listen here)

Letter #2

You sucked on SNL! And still suck on tring (sic) to kill America. Plus your show sucks every time on radio and tv. I am now going to sue for having to pay for a tv channel that carries your show. Should be fun in court. You SUCK!
(listen here)

Letter #3

Al you f#cking loser. I hadn’t heard from you (sic) whiny mouth in a long time. I thought Bin Laden had captured you and was doing America a favor in keeping your sorry ass in the desert. I heard your show ratings are even worse than before. Hope your birthday went like crap, and you suck! If you have kids I feel sorry for them.

Have you given up trying to be like your idol Bill O’Reilly? You don’t even come close to accomplishing all that Bill’s done for the U.S. If you leave the country let me know, I want to punch you in the mouth first. – Kevin Rosenthal
(listen here)

Letter #4

Al, I hate your f#cking show, and wish you (sic) just go back to da (sic) desert for fawty (sic) more years, you heeb f#ck.

I’d have to lop off my head with a rusty spoon and shove a frozen stick of butter down my throat to stop the bile from rising. Your parents must be sick to their stomachs. Shouts to da (sic) fam (sic), 100 EZ Crabsy. (?)
(listen here)

Letter #5

Dear Al Frankenstein,

Is your great-grandfather named Victor? Yeah, I bet. Don’t you dare call this hate mail. I am an upstanding Christian man! I believe in Jesus, YOU DON’T! You’re an IDIOT!

But for some Godforsaken reason, I believe in healthy dissent, so I listen to Pollution Air Radio. The Brainiacs that run that place must have felt sorry for your FAT ASS, and gave you three hours. Or maybe no one else wanted to be on that CRAPPY STATION for JERKS! Stop bashing Bush, AL FRANKENSTEIN!

I know the truth about you, you’re just jealous! It’s all a big joke to you!

But you know what, FRANKENSTEIN? The punch line is YOU! I think you want O’Reilly’s spot. Do you even watch the news? Do you? Do you really? I can’t tell. Your take on politics is very slanted, like your HEAD!

Grow up Alfred, or Allen, or VICTOR!

Signed,
TM (truth man)
(listen here)

Letter #6

Dear Al,

You are a dumb Jew f#ck. Jesus Christ is going to come down, and f#ck you in your stupid Jew rectum, with his fat, Republican c%ck. I hope you get cancer in your ball sack!

Thank you for your time f#cker.
(listen here)

Butchering the English Language Should Be the Least of Your Concerns

George Bush gets picked on a lot for the way he speaks English. Late night talk shows, political cartoons in newspapers, and other slivers of the corporate media poke fun at the president for mispronouncing words that my 9-year old cousin doesn’t have much trouble with – such as NU-cle-ar, and other 3 to 4 syllable sounds.

I however, no longer care. You heard me.

That the most powerful man in the world not speaking his native language with gracefulness and grown-up sophistication used to really bother me, however I’ve discovered something more troubling that Bush’s speech reveals about him, which I think some people who are far too focused on sentence structure tend to miss: Our President – my god I can barely type this – doesn’t know what the HELL he’s talking about.

When he answers questions on the fly, on the outside he's exhibiting poor English, yes, but listen to what he's saying. He doesn't know the subject matter. He's not really able to give thought to his answers because he simply DOESN'T KNOW. He merely keeps the sentences short, and full of political slogans. He tries to joke around akwardly with reporters, attempting to deflect from the embarrassment of sounding so fucking stupid.

Mr. President, why do terrorists attack us?
They hate us for our freedom!

Mr. President, how are we going to solve the al Qaeda issue?
Gonna smoke em out of their caves!

Mr. President, how can we address racial inequality in America?
Affirmative access!

Mr President, why are we in Iraq if there are no weapons or connections to major terrorist organizations and the Iraqis want us out and there's no power or water and the coaltion was never really there to begin with and attacks are increasing and you keep lying to us about it?
9/11!

Now, EVERY president has his rah-rah speeches to get the team to pull together and win the big game. That's not what I'm criticizing this guy for.

I'm trying to explain the fact that bumper sticker slogans, fueled by a black and white, one dimentional, VERY naieve, "Us vs. Them" view of a complex world is exactly how this simpleton operates. He doesn't speak well because he DOESN'T KNOW THE ANSWER, he's NOT EDUCATED ON THE ISSUE, and his ideas end up sounding like an 8th grade history paper written an hour before class.

He doesn't just have issues speaking. He has issues thinking. He has issues understanding. He has issues articulating thoughts, because the thoughts aren't there.

Now, prepare a speech for the guy to practice, read to his parents, and deliver to the country that he didn’t write or even approve, then he can get by.

When Bush is flying solo in a press conference however, which is as rare as snowfall in Miami (today he held one all by himself like a big boy for the first time since May), he barely knows how to speak. He stumbles, fumbles, and doesn’t answer questions with any real inflection or signs of wisdom. Whenever he gets in trouble he simply brings up 9/11, terror, and the war in Iraq, and it bails him out.

While that is annoying, it isn’t nearly as frightening as when Bush is asked to comment and give thoughtful, intelligent interpretation to a particular policy or current events question – especially when he can’t use Southern, primeval appealing catch phrases like “bring ‘em on."

Nothing illustrates this more than when Bush was asked about tribal sovereignty last year, and it’s relationship with the Federal government:

Question:
Mr. President, you’ve been a governor, and a president, so you have unique experience looking at it from two directions. What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century, and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

Bush’s Actual Answer:
"Yeah, tribal sovereignty means just that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a – you’re a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're - viewed as a s-sovereign entity.(laughter) And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between s-sovereign entities." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

That was our president’s genuine answer. He wasn’t trying to be funny, charming, or rasslin’ around with the press corps. He was being dead serious. He wasn't just speaking poorly in a grammatical sense there - he had no idea what the answer should be or what people wanted to hear because he didn't have a clue as to what the issue was.

Listen to the audio here, and you can watch the video here.

Take note (especially in the video) that you can actually hear the press laughing at his answer. Restoring honor to America? Hardly.