Coulter Gets Her Anorexic Ass Booed Off Stage

Ann Coulter, famous for throwing up after meals and her self-appointed role as chief of the treason-police, made an appearance at Uconn earlier this month and was booed so heartily during her speech, she had to cut her appearance to only 15 minutes.

Uconn students – much too educated to take her seriously but active enough to pull her off the stage via a large cartoon cane that emerged from one of the curtains, were probably pissed that she even bothered to show up. In fact, if you support Ann Coulter, you probably believe that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to Church (thanks SNL!).

While most conservatives would dismiss this as the liberal university agenda – completely forgetting that you’re more immersed in learning about the world from a million different sources in college than you are during any other period of your life – students who protested Coulter’s visit probably had enough of statements from her such as:

-"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war." -September 13, 2001

-“Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.”

-“ My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”

It should also be noted that progressives such as myself react to labeling of the collegiate atmosphere as “liberal” with great pride – considering the drive behind the liberal label are diverse, intellectually curious, culturally sophisticated college towns filled with talented, doctorate-holding professors and some of the most advanced learning environments on the planet (trust me, you do have to put down the keg cup and crack a book more often in college than you might recall).

Keep showing us that the rural back-road voters of northern Maine vote Republican while the college town professors and cultural centers nearby keep voting blue (not to mention the very areas most susceptible to a terrorist attack – NY, DC, LA, etc), and you’ll illustrate my point exactly..or you can simply read this column.

The War on Christmas that Christians Have Waged

Expanding further on the post below, be sure to check out the latest Slate article regarding Christmas as it deals with fundamentalist Christians.

It points out the following:

Between 1659 and 1681, Christmas celebrations were outlawed in the colony, and the law declared that anyone caught "observing, by abstinence from labor, feasting or any other way any such days as Christmas day, shall pay for every such offense five shillings." Finding no biblical authority for celebrating Jesus' birth on Dec. 25, the theocrats who ran Massachusetts regarded the holiday as a mere human invention, a remnant of a heathen past.

As late as 1869, public-school kids in Boston could be expelled for skipping class on Christmas Day.

Quakers, too, took a pass, reasoning that, in the words of 17th-century Quaker apologist Robert Barclay, "All days are alike holy in the sight of God." The Quakers never translated their dismissal of Christmas into legislation in their stronghold in Colonial Pennsylvania. But local meetings, as the Quakers call their assemblies, urged their members to disdain Christmas and to be "zealous in their testimony against the holding up of such days." As late as 1810, the Philadelphia Democratic Press reported that few Pennsylvanians celebrated the holiday.

An 1855 New York Times report on Christmas services in the city noted that Baptist and Methodist churches were closed because they "do not accept the day as a holy one," while Episcopal and Catholic churches were open and "decked with evergreens."

Why Happy Holidays? Because You Don't Go To My Church

A coworker of mine – and remember I work at a company that is VERY fucking hyper-Christian – recently set up her out-of-office email to say, “Merry Christmas!” to all of those who might email her while she’s on vacation, no doubt recreating Christ’s birth in her garage for the next 11 days.

This reminded me that I haven’t quite expressed my thoughts on the whole Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays slogans around this time of year.

Well, here it is.

I celebrate Christmas. My family celebrates it. Most of my friends do. I wish them a Merry Christmas all the time. It’s a great holiday, why wouldn’t I?

However – to people I don’t know – to business associates whose religion just hasn’t been a topic of conversation yet – and to strangers bagging my groceries at the supermarket, I say Happy Holidays.

Why?

Here’s my Christmas list of reasons:

1. Conservative Christians..please be sure you’re sitting down, because this is going to knock you right through the fucking wall, into the front yard, right through the nativity scene you just bought at Wal-Mart. Not everyone you meet on a daily basis celebrates Christmas. I know this for a fact. Look it up and then Hail Mary yourself until you can sleep it off.

2. There are in fact, other holidays celebrated this time of year. Granted, Hanukkah isn’t as large of a mark on the average Jew’s calendar as Christmas is for the average Christian, or Ramadan for the average Muslim – but this year it happens to start at sundown on the 25th. I will refer to you Adam Sandler for more info.

3. Retailers –the largest group pressured to ram Christmas down your throat and out your ass this time of year, are not REALLY into the whole immaculate conception/manger birth this time of year. They’re really into the commercial benefit Christmas brings this time of year so please – the next time the CEO of Macey’s decides to remind you of Christmas during their Thanksgiving parade, they’re not exactly making a profound religious statement. They’re looking for you show up in their parking lot at 4am the next morning like a garage sale stalker looking for a good deal on a used, soiled computer chair.

4. Very few people who share my opinion are doing so for the thrill of being politically correct. Rather, they’re asking for consideration and maybe, some thought about others’ religious expressions. Thoughtfulness…hmm, that’s still a Christian value, right?

5. Speaking of which…can someone explain to my why those who profess to be Christian and therefore share in values of kindness, consideration and selflessness – are the same ones who keep having trouble with values like kindness, consideration and selflessness?

6. This whole war of Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas is a perfect example of a fabricated conflict, championed, milked and advocated for by the Republican Party. The more fired up they can get their base up about this, and other issues (Terry Schiavo anyone? Gay marriage anyone? Flag burning anyone? The ENTIRE GOP PLATFORM, anyone?) the more church buses they can get to the polls to make sure boys aren’t kissing after the next election.

7. Expanding on point #5 – the only people really cashing in on the war on Christmas are those who are completely exploiting this topic to their advantage. Right Bill O’Reilly? Right John Gibson?

8. And finally – the war on Christmas is simply a super extension of the “war on Christianity.” The same people who want to teach intelligent design in your kid’s school and plaster 10 Commandments replicas all over your local court house, are the same ones standing over the shoulder of the 15 year old Bath and Body Works cashier making sure she damn well acknowledges baby Jesus to everyone.

As Jon Stewart once said:

"Ahh yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion…. perhaps around their necks? And maybe — dare I dream it? — maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively."

Happy holidays everyone. I’m off to do some Christmas shopping.

Another Republican Fighting For Democracy

Which local Republicans with shiny American flag pendants are the most corrupt?

I have Maine’s vote right here.

Meet James Tobin, from Bangor (I hardly know her!) Maine. (For those out of state, be forewarned – if you’re in a part of Maine where you can’t smell the ocean, you’re probably hanging out with rednecks).

Tobin is another “patriot” who touts the values of America and wants to spread democracy around the world using the “bombing-the-shit-out-of-3rd-world-nations” strategy, but will damned if that same democracy flourishes here in New England.

During a November 2002 election, Tobin orchestrated a scheme where the homes of New Hampshire Democrats and a Manchester firefighters union that provides rides to the polls were flooded with hang-up phone calls, limiting their Democracy on election day.

From the Portland Press Herald:

Prior to Tobin's trial, two other Republicans pleaded guilty and agreed to cooperate with the government. Chuck McGee, who in 2002 was executive director of the New Hampshire GOP, testified that he dreamed up the idea. But he said it was going nowhere until Tobin referred him to Allen Raymond, a former colleague of the defendant who was then running a telemarketing firm called GOP Marketplace LLC.

In 2002, Tobin was responsible for overseeing the campaigns for Republican Senate candidates in the Northeast. Two years later, he was New England campaign chair for President Bush, but he resigned shortly before the election when he was implicated in the phone-jamming investigation.

Read on.

Um...What Was That Again, You Republican Scumbags?

Rejoice my fellow liberals, for yet another Republican talking point has been proven to be a total mountain of fabricated horse shit.

Please tell me how many times you can count the President, his staff, your asshole Republican coworkers, and the AM talk radio scumbags insulted your intelligence by telling you that Congress members who voted for war in Iraq did so after having access to the same intelligence the White House has.

How many times have they tried to use that argument to make it seem like those handfuls of Democrats - as if they ever represent liberals and progressives in the first place - were all gung-ho about invading Iraq, and never had a twinge of caution about the whole thing.

This same argument was just used TWO weeks ago by our president during a speech, feverishly and unnervingly trying to defend this growing disaster, trying to drag Democratic Senators and House Members into his bloody mud puddle, just like I tried to blame my buddies in 9th grade who were with me the night we stole from cars in the neighborhood.

Well, my friends, read this, and forward to your continually ignorant, ill-informed, lying sonofabitch conservative friends and coworkers:

It's titled:

Congress Doesn't See Same Intelligence as President, Report Finds

No More Phone-Sexing Your Girlfriend in Europe

It was once said by an insightful blogger that she'd rather see someone wrapped in the Constitution burning the American flag, than have someone wrapped in the flag burning the constitution.

Guess which one George Bush supporters prefer?

In a new revelation of utter expectedness, there is now mounting evidence to show that Bush secretly signed an order authorizing the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on Americans who were communicating with individuals overseas to determine if they had terrorist ties.

In a taped interview that will air this evening on PBS, Bush said that he realizes people who care about trivial things such as the Bill of Rights and other outdated protections may want some answers surrounding this. His response?

He can't because, "It would compromise our ability to protect the people."

Read that again:

"It don't have to tell you shit because its for your own goddamned good, and if you keep questioning me the terrorists will kill Santa."

Click here to read the entire article on the NYT web site, and email it to your conservative friends.

Because of course, your president illegally wiretapping the last call you made to your sister in Liverpool isn't really journalism...it's all one big liberal conspiricy to tell stories and make up fibs about Mr. Bush.

Bush's Brain - The Game

A fun game to pass the time...I scored a 4.

My Apologies

First off - thank you to all those who emailed me in the past week asking, "why isn't your site updated?!" It's always nice to know that people read the site and actually get slightly disappointed when I take a 2 week vacation from it.

I do apologize for my literary absence in the past couple weeks...I've been tied up with some other things...let's just say you can blame it on a certain cute girl from Auburn :-)

Anyway, enough of that crap...back to work.

More Iraq Vets Who Hate the Troops

According to most conservatives who make up the dwindling percentage of Americans who still support the war in Iraq, those who want to pull out of this miserabley misguided and often lied about mission are not responsible or concerned about our men and women over there - they're cowards.

Or traitors. Or they don't have enough yellow ribbons on their car.

I've often asked myself - why do these critics of the war - many of them war veterans themselves - hate the troops so much?

Well, you may want to ask some of the troops who actually served in the very war that sparks all of the debate in the first place.

In all, 12 veterans of this war are running or are considering running for Congress in the next election. TEN of them are Democrats.

If you're considering supporting some of these veteran traitors of the current war - you may click on the nine I have listed below. I wish them the very best of luck and thank them for their courage to speak out against the non-veterans who criticize them on AM talk radio, every single day.

David Ashe, Age: 36 Rank: Major, United States Marines Corps Service

Andrew Duck, Age: 42 Rank: Captain, United States Army Service

Tim Dunn, Age: 45 Rank: Lieutenant colonel, United States Marine Corps Reserve Service

Patrick Murphy, Age: 31 Rank: Captain, United States Army

Bryan Lentz, Age: 41 Rank: Major, United States Army Reserve Service

Paul Hackett, Age: 43 Rank: Major, United States Marine Corps Service

Tim Walz, Age: 41 Rank: Command Sergeant Major, Army National Guard Service

Chris Carney, Age: 46 Rank: Lieutenant Commander, United States Naval Reserves Service

Eric Massa, Age: 46 Rank: Commander, United States Navy Service