Who Will Save the Children From Playing Dress-Up?
Well - it seems as though the very group who feels that non-Christians threaten Christmas... because if you remember the last 2,000 or so Christmases have been pretty much kept on the down-low...are now threatening to cancel Halloween - and having their threats granted.
The Underwood Elementary School in Newton, MA has cancelled their tradition of letting kids celebrate Halloween, because it’s going actually give some terribly underexposed and oversheltered children a couple hours imagination and laughter away from their fundamentalist, 700 Club-supporting parents.
According to ABC news, “In a letter to students and parents, [the principal] explained that the Halloween celebration offended religious beliefs of some students.”
Right – it’s the “children’s” beliefs and not their overbearing, bat-shit conservative parents that might get offended.
But according to the holiday spokespeople, Fox News, it’s the liberals that always want to cancel holidays? I mean, Personally I’ve always hated eating the best meals of the year with my wonderful family and having time off from work.
Well, I have to make one point crystal clear with the Season coming just around the corner.
Just in case you think for one second you can draw some kind of Bill O’Reilly inspired comparison between progressives wanting the government to honor everyone’s religious holidays and parents who are still under the grips of the Catholic School experiment of scaring you shitless into blind faith with threats of Demons and eternity in Hell, allow me to explain:
Real patriots who value disconnection between Religion and State voice their opinions each Christmas when the Government urinates on the First Amendment by erecting a manger the size of your boss’s house in the town square, complete with creamy white-skinned statuettes of Middle Eastern men and women praying that Tom Delay gets acquitted, all surrounding an even whiter baby Jesus (because God forbid conservatives in Kansas figure out they’ve been praying to colored guy this entire time).
So why do they speak out? Because being politically correct is really fun? Because they hate Christmas (most of those who do take issue with these displays cut their own Christmas trees down, you know)?
Because, my Super-Christian friends, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. If this upsets you, there are plenty of theocratic examples churning in motion today, and all you have to do is request a one-way ticket to Riyadh by clicking here, and you can see it up close and personal for yourself. Or…just hang around the States for another 3 or 4 years, when they’ll be fighting us over here so they don’t have to fight us there.
Now – getting back to the timid Hallow-phobic parents of these poor kids who just want to dress up as Strawberry goddamn Shortcake for a couple hours, their motives are completely different.
They, on the very distant other hand, are the classic example of a decent sized group of Christians who are non-spiritual, easily impressed upon religious sheep that worship out of fear and guilt, rather than true love and mysticism.
It’s true. Think of how many times you hear pseudo-Christians talk about their guilt for not going to Church last Sunday, or warning other people they don’t agree with dark, menacing pictures of a terrible after-life – as if our entire existence, and everything in the entire universe is predicated on a thumbs-up or thumbs-down, black and white ending that only the limited functioning of the human brain could conjure up.
These people aren’t protesting in the name of the Constitutionality, justice or religious freedom? They don’t want their kids to get spooked by a figment of their own fear that’s been drilled into their head since they were born.
The difference between us and them is, we outgrew it when we were seven.
This is what these people want, and spineless school administrators are letting them get their way. These same parents would rather send their kids to a book-burning bon fire than allow them to wear bed sheets with the eyes cut out so they eat ridiculous amounts of sugar.
Keep your eye on the good people of Newton. Rumor has it the next elementary school Superintendent will be chosen by throwing 14 qualified adults into the local pond, giving the job to the one who doesn't float.
The Underwood Elementary School in Newton, MA has cancelled their tradition of letting kids celebrate Halloween, because it’s going actually give some terribly underexposed and oversheltered children a couple hours imagination and laughter away from their fundamentalist, 700 Club-supporting parents.
According to ABC news, “In a letter to students and parents, [the principal] explained that the Halloween celebration offended religious beliefs of some students.”
Right – it’s the “children’s” beliefs and not their overbearing, bat-shit conservative parents that might get offended.
But according to the holiday spokespeople, Fox News, it’s the liberals that always want to cancel holidays? I mean, Personally I’ve always hated eating the best meals of the year with my wonderful family and having time off from work.
Well, I have to make one point crystal clear with the Season coming just around the corner.
Just in case you think for one second you can draw some kind of Bill O’Reilly inspired comparison between progressives wanting the government to honor everyone’s religious holidays and parents who are still under the grips of the Catholic School experiment of scaring you shitless into blind faith with threats of Demons and eternity in Hell, allow me to explain:
Real patriots who value disconnection between Religion and State voice their opinions each Christmas when the Government urinates on the First Amendment by erecting a manger the size of your boss’s house in the town square, complete with creamy white-skinned statuettes of Middle Eastern men and women praying that Tom Delay gets acquitted, all surrounding an even whiter baby Jesus (because God forbid conservatives in Kansas figure out they’ve been praying to colored guy this entire time).So why do they speak out? Because being politically correct is really fun? Because they hate Christmas (most of those who do take issue with these displays cut their own Christmas trees down, you know)?
Because, my Super-Christian friends, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. If this upsets you, there are plenty of theocratic examples churning in motion today, and all you have to do is request a one-way ticket to Riyadh by clicking here, and you can see it up close and personal for yourself. Or…just hang around the States for another 3 or 4 years, when they’ll be fighting us over here so they don’t have to fight us there.
Now – getting back to the timid Hallow-phobic parents of these poor kids who just want to dress up as Strawberry goddamn Shortcake for a couple hours, their motives are completely different.
They, on the very distant other hand, are the classic example of a decent sized group of Christians who are non-spiritual, easily impressed upon religious sheep that worship out of fear and guilt, rather than true love and mysticism.
It’s true. Think of how many times you hear pseudo-Christians talk about their guilt for not going to Church last Sunday, or warning other people they don’t agree with dark, menacing pictures of a terrible after-life – as if our entire existence, and everything in the entire universe is predicated on a thumbs-up or thumbs-down, black and white ending that only the limited functioning of the human brain could conjure up.
These people aren’t protesting in the name of the Constitutionality, justice or religious freedom? They don’t want their kids to get spooked by a figment of their own fear that’s been drilled into their head since they were born.
The difference between us and them is, we outgrew it when we were seven.
This is what these people want, and spineless school administrators are letting them get their way. These same parents would rather send their kids to a book-burning bon fire than allow them to wear bed sheets with the eyes cut out so they eat ridiculous amounts of sugar.
Keep your eye on the good people of Newton. Rumor has it the next elementary school Superintendent will be chosen by throwing 14 qualified adults into the local pond, giving the job to the one who doesn't float.
posted by Jeremy at 7:41 PM
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