O'Reilly Sex Cruise Cancelled

I was just reminded recently of a post I’ve been meaning to create for quite some time.

During this past summer, a fundraiser/cruise entitled “Battle For American Values” was set to sail, full of living, breathing, Right Wing cargo sipping Manhattans, puffing stogies, and swapping fag jokes for stock market tips.

The special guest speaker? Your friend and mine, Bill O’Reilly.

Amusingly the cruise was cancelled due to lack of interest. As SweetJesusIHateBillOreilly.com notes:

Even though the cruise was promoted heavily on The O'Reilly Factor television program, the Radio Factor, and O'Reilly's web site, they sold only a fraction of the tickets available. According to the Thomas More Law Center, the response was surprisingly poor. The organization ultimately renegotiated with Holland America Cruise Line in an attempt to pare down the expected guest list but maintain the event as scheduled. Sales continued to trickle in and finally, after two more negotiations with Holland America to reduce the group size, the event was finally scrapped.

As Al Franken has pointed out on a number of occasions, Bill O’Reilly was surely prepared to read to the guests from his own novel, Those Who Trespass (Biblical sounding name coincidental? I think not).

Due to overwhelming request from the fans of this site – ok, my buddy Jon – below I’ve posted both the famous transcript from this book, as well as the audio of Bill himself actually reading directly from page 308 for his award winning book-on-film series. Keep in mind, the mission statement from the group who put on the cruise who invited Bill is as follows: "(We) seek to meet the highest moral and ethical standards of our Christian faith and our legal profession.” What say you, Mr. O’Reilly?

"Stripping off her bathing suit, she walked into the huge shower. She pulled the lime green curtain across the entrance and then set the water for a tepid 75-degrees. The spray felt great against her skin as she ducked her head underneath the nozzle. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the tingling sensation of water flowing against her body. Suddenly another sensation entered, Ashley felt two large hands wrap themselves around her breasts and hot breathe on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes wide and giggled, 'I thought you drowned out there snorkel-man.' Tommy O'Malley was naked and at attention. 'Drowning is not an option', he said, 'unless of course you beg me to perform unnatural acts - right here in this shower.'"

Audio here.