Pat Finally Finds a Sheikh He Likes
Move over Jake Lalaine, there’s another scary looking senior citizen trying to whip you in shape – except this one is a little more comical.About once a month I attempt to keep this site updated as to what the hell it is Pat Robertson is doing or saying. In case you’re not keeping score at home, we’ve discussed:
-Pat’s belief that God smote Israeli Prime Minister Sharon
-The fact that the people of Dover, PA will face God’s wrath for voting for science in public schools
- We ought to assassinate the leader of another country because like Pat, he says stupid things
- The followers of Islam are possessed by demons
Pat’s latest utterance? He can leg press 2,000 lbs.
Go ahead and check it out on his web site, I’m not joking. Except there’s only one problem: 76-year old Pat Robertson has apparently shattered the Florida State leg press record by over 650pounds!
Pat Robertson has a new age-defying shake that allows him to look younger and literally leg press a ton. Rumor has it that the only side effect from the shake is that you might suddenly start talking like a bat-shit, schizophrenic, right wing Christian.
Apparently, Bush drank a few of these shakes right before he doubled the world record by landing the largest perch in recorded history, on his man-made lake.
The Rachael Maddow show talked about it this morning:
Listen:
posted by Jeremy at 4:11 PM
22 Comments:
great pic! i laughed pretty good! too bad so many people take pat and jerry and dobsen so seriously- and literally. i can't wrap my mind around the sheep religions of the world. maybe that's why john came up with the antichrist in revelations in the first place. he just wanted to rid the world of christians. nice joke on them.
Betmo, thanks :-) And yes, it is sad when you think the 700 club has millions of viewers, and that Liberty University is alive and well - both institutions are run by hateful people, but at least we can laugh at them once in a while.
People like these bleed the money from people in the name of heavenly insurance. Pray with us, give us your last dime and we'll make you believe you'll go to heaven when you die. Because of these sorts, I wish there was a freakin' hell.
they seem to have taken the usury page out of the catholic bible and ran with it- and for some reason unknown to me- people in the 21st century continue to give. did the same thing with the folks in the 80's- bakker, swaggart and the like.
Of course he leg pressed 2,000 lbs Jeremy!!! IT's A MIRACLE!!!! PRAISE THE LORD AND HALLELUJAH!!!!
I was told when I called that I TOO could leg press 2,000 pounds if I would only donate $2,000!!!
Imagine my joy when I was ALSO told that I could leg press even MORE based on my donation!! JOY OVER-CAME MY BODY AND I BEGAN TO SPEAK IN TONGUES and rolling around on the ground.
I could still hear the lovely receptionist as I rolled around with the phone still up against my ear. She nicely said that she would hold during the "being over-come with the spirit" process and that this was not her first time being witness to a miracle. How lucky for me I was being helped by a pro!!
Upon coming to I promptly pulled out my almost over-maxed credit card and donated $5000 dollars so that I could be even MORE close to "God" then Pat.
I was then asked if I didn't want to also donate some money to "curing gays." I of course slapped more money down for THAT crusade which OBVIOUSLY is what an all-loving, all-accepting, all-understanding, "God" wants!!
I was asked for one final donation for stoping animal-human hybrids from coming to form out of stem-cell research as that is obviously the intention of the evil stem cell researching "scientists."
I was told that "God" would be happy that I was donating to wipe out science.
PRAISE JAY-ZUSSS!!!!!
God that picture is enough to make my recently digested tabouli come tumbling out.
I have never understood how people who fall for the ideology promoted by the leg press king can fall for the money sucking ways.
Now I know.
Who wouldn't believe after looking at that.
Well, Jeremy, we just all assumed his tinky was naturally small, the motivating facor behind his need to look like a big strong man.
Haha...you said tinky. Glenda if you don't think Pat Robertson doesn't get mad chicks, you're going to hell.
I am ashamed that I did not comment on the picture. :( That IS a good photoshop job though for sure. Well done. :)
Actually James your post was fantastic...Nice work
when is this guy going to talk himself out of any followers?
I'm really sorry, I guess it was because that part was not such a big surprise.
;0
That son of a bitch would blow out both his knees if he tried to bench press 2000 pounds. For christ's sake, who would buy his sheik? Not enough mileage came out of Bush's perch lie either, so I am glad you are bringing it up. I do not care if he caught a 2000 pound perch, for his fondest memory in five years to be that of a stinking fish he caught in a stocked pond at his tract house he calls a ranch, proves that we are in more trouble then we ever imagined. Miss America contestants could come up with more moving responses than this. "My fondest memory in the past five years was bringing world peace. Next to attending the hot dog eating contest and seeing that Japanese guy win again."
thanks for robertson watch ... but dude ... the image you posted there is extremely disturbing ... I guess the shake shrinks the 'nads too ... what good it bench pressing a ton if your entire package shrinks to the size of a coupla dry roasted peanuts ...
Wow... found your site through Human's place. GREAT JOB JEREMY! I'll be back!
Thanks for the laugh. This pic is perfect. All show (and no dick).
nice picture. It's amazing how these people lie so much and yet still they have followers. It makes me question the intelligence of these followers...
I think I just realized that I don't have you linked???? that's a serious mistake ... gotta rectify that ...
Amazing. I've gotta get me some of that magic oil... In fact, if Patty is so great with this juice, why doesn't Patty get his hot bod over to Iraq where he can single-handedly destroy the terrorists who threaten our freedom and his racist values?
In response to Rory's comment, I would just like to remind everyone that a church is built on a solid foundation (i.e. legs that can press 2,000 lbs.) and not on dry roasted peanuts.
Holy... Crap... Robertson has fallen off the turnip wagon, been run over by said wagon, received a high dose of morphine and esorted to eating random mushrooms in the forests of Crazyland.
That picture is disturbing on so many different levels that I may need to shower again or stay home sick! Thanks!
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