No Oil Exec Left Behind

But first, a message from our oil execs:
Listen:

I’ve been watching as much news coverage as possible regarding the latest gas prices. And no, not the “I’m standing here at the Gulf station in Omaha where it’s $3.23/per gallon!” type of coverage, but real debate on the reasons behind it, the supply/demand talk and how what is going on internationally effects how much it just cost you to fill up your Jetta on the way to your parents’ place for the weekend.

Honestly, I’ve been hesitant to weigh in on all the gas talk, for several reasons. Here are my thoughts in a nutshell, about the entire situation:

1). I think this rapidly developing headline is just that – a nice headline to print articles about what people are generally frustrated about. It’s classic water cooler talk. “Hey, just filled up my car for $47.00.” “No shit, me too?” This will go away in 2 months, or until the next pretty white teen is reported missing on CNN.

2). Let’s face it. We’ve got a LOT more important stuff to worry about. Iraq is still a complete mess, we’ve generated talk about nuking Iran, generals and CIA officials in an unprecedented manner accusing their former commander-in-chief of lying us into war, and Oprah is getting ready to yell at another guest on her show. Honestly, gas going up $.90 is the least of our concerns and frankly it’s a distraction from what we really should be talking about. This president has lost two twin towers, a piece of the pentagon, the entire city of New Orleans, the world’s respect, and our national security in 5 years. Let’s talk about that instead.

3). As Democrats/Liberals/Progressives, crying about higher fuel costs is almost counter-intuitive and a bit hypocritical considering the environment has always been a major issue for us. If we care as much about the planet as we say we do (and believe me, we do), then higher gas prices might be a good thing.

4). The real argument many progressives make around high gas prices – and rightfully so - is that this is the time for us to really be considering alternative energy sources. With all of the research dollars spent on cell phone reception and aging and beauty and the benefits of prayer, it is staggering to see how little progress we’ve made regarding alternative energy sources.

5). We’re sitting on the second largest oil field on the planet after the invasion of Iraq, and it just cost me $47.00 to fill my car?

6). I realize most people think that slapping a yellow ribbon on your SUV makes you patriotic and sacrificial during a time of war, but our President has really never rallied this country to sacrifice ANYTHING. How about riding your bike to work, fatty?

7). This is the most energy/oil-related administration in the history of the United States. Getting advice from them about how to reduce oil dependency is like asking my butcher advice on how to switch to a vegan diet.

8). I am not one to talk ANYTHING about saving energy, although I’ve decided to buy a Toyota Hybrid as my next vehicle. My family owns a 30 foot Grady White with twin 225 HP engines on the back of it. If you think it hurts filling up your car, trying paying $650 in gas every time you fill your tank. I should mention we have environmentally friendly 4-stroke engines, but I’m hardly contributing to any environmental causes by gunning my boat around Casco Bay chasing around blue fish .

9). I was listening to Rush Limbaugh this afternoon (know thy enemy) and he was pissed at all the people angry at big oil, as he provided a red-faced defense of the oil corporations and their profits (shocking, I know). However, my biggest argument against the high gas prices is not that I need to pay $39 dollars at the pump instead of $47. Saving 8 bucks every 2 weeks would be nice, but not doing so doesn’t put me in the poor house.

What irritates me is the enormous subsidies and profits given to giant corporations who are making record profits. I know big-Capitalist, Wal-mart Republicans hate to have a limit on how much you can gauge the American public in the free market, but for Christ’s sake, enough is enough. As I wrote back in November, during the Katrina prices, oil companies were pulling in record quarters (and still are) in much of the free market sector, across the board. So while I may be out on a big boat doing some weekend fishing, I tend to wonder if the guy in the 57-foot Carver Yatch beside me is the VP from Exxon whose pockets I just helped fill. Although I suppose these guys do need a backup ivory back-scratcher in case the first one breaks.

10). Finally, let me say this. The more I read/educate myself on high gas prices, the more I realize this truly is about supply and demand in a fairly free market. However – to the “culture-of-responsibility” Bush supporters out there – you know, the ones who blame Clinton for 9/11, Iraq, the deficit, gay marriage and your wife’s infidelity – I have this to say:

When the market gets nervous, prices go up. The market is nervous in part due to supply issues, international affairs have everything to do with threatening supply.

I.E. WHEN YOUR PRESIDENT HAS *NUKING IRAN* ON THE TABLE FOR POSSIBLE MILITARY OPTIONS, AND WHEN IRAQIS ARE BLOWING UP THEIR OWN PIPELINES, AND WHEN AL QAEDA IS RUNNING HALF OF NORTH AFRICA, IT’S GOING TO COST MORE TO FILL YOUR GOD DAMNED 4-RUNNER, OK?

In the meantime, perhaps Californians have the right idea regarding the gas prices…

Some California drivers are resorting to desperate measures to beat the surge in
petrol prices at the pump - deliberately running dry on the state's freeways and
simply waiting for rescue.

Lujan's 20 trucks roam the busy freeways of Orange and Los Angeles counties as part of a publicly funded patrol that gives a free gallon of gas to drivers who have run out of fuel. It also offers other basic assistance to drivers whose vehicles have broken down.

Read on.