Open Letter to Julie Bartling

By now everyone is well aware of the troubling state legislation, passed with great help from Democrat Julie Bartling, which will attempt to outlaw all abortion in the state of South Dakota (with the exception of when the mom might die...how sweet).

This means South Dakotan girls who get raped by daddy at age 16 will have to understand that giving birth to your brother-son was just God's will...and unless that baby come out sideways and gonna kill ya, yer gonna have to go to Minnesota to get it all fixed!

Now shut up and get them dishes sparkling the way daddy likes!

Obviously the South Dakota Supreme Court will eventually get this (or will it be the conservative 8th circuit? Evan, help me out if you're reading this) and be forced to rule on the precedent of Roe v Wade, and eventually declare this unconstitutional. Then the Federal Supreme Court *might* decide to hear the case, and that's when all hell is either contained, or breaks loose.

However, over at Jesus' general, an open letter has been crafted to Mrs. Bartling. Here's an excerpt:

Dear Sen. Bartling,

When your husband, Bart Bartling, comes home after hard day of trucking feed, I hope he has dinner waiting for him. I worry about that given all the gallivanting you do down at the Statehouse. Certainly, Bart and the children aren't getting the kind of
service a god-fearing wife and mother should be giving to her family.

There is little I can do about your usurpation of Bart's patriarchal role--you're his property, not mine--but as long as you're going to be in the Senate anyway, I'm willing to help you do God's work by offering suggestions to help you make your forced childbirth legislative initiatives even stronger.

That's where my idea of lady-parts monitoring comes in. All you need to do is pass a bill requiring the implantation of a device that would sound an alarm whenever a foreign object is inserted into a not-man's lady-parts... (read on).