U-G-L-Y, You Ain't Got No Alibi!

State Representative Al Edwards from - where the fuck else - Texas, has decided he's seen enough bumping and grinding during half-time of his favorite, prayer-proceeded high school football games. Edwards, a 26 year Veteran of the Texas house that Tom Delay just redistricted gets offended by high school girls, making Elvis-like moves "with them hips of theirs, gyrating and such." Edwards went on to say, "them hips are for birthin', not movin' all about for wide-eyed, sexually denied perverts like me!"

When we last visited our heroes in the South, they were trying to legislate how people wear their underwear. Now, they're trying to outlaw forms of dance, not pleasing to the God(s). Under the bill's provisions, any school in violation of this, how do you say, "dancing," would lose some of it's state funding by an amount deemed appropriate by those who gasped, covered their mouths, and said 152 Hail Mary's before gagging on their own hypocrisy and passing out. Amen.

I'd like to also point out that Edwards is a Democrat, as was the person who introduced the aforementioned panty-legislation, and that just goes to show you Southern Democrats have the potential to be as completely asinine as American Republicans. One need only spend a few minutes Googling Zell Miller's fits of schizophrenic, venom-spitting rage to understand this.
And you know - when a law is made by legislators, in effect you're saying that "if you violate this rule, we will send people with guns after you." I just hope the cheerleader police doesn't forget to go after these idiots first.